You did something very good, which you believe God gave you to do, but, in the midst of it, the trauma was badly triggered and it took weeks to get back to equilibrium.
Now, it seems like God is calling you to do something similar. You can set it up so that the previous trauma triggers are avoided, or, at least, minimised. But, even so, something inside you is saying, ‘It will happen again’. And it might!
I just wrote a blog on God’s power towards safety for every single person who entrusts themselves to Him. Can I do that? Will I do what He is calling me to, even though I think I can’t?
I will. I will recognise the rising terror, but I will choose to do it. I will thank God for all the good things that He accomplished last time, and that I (and others – a traumatised Ida affects the people around her!) have survived that nightmare period and even learnt from it. I will trust again in His righteous ordering of the universe, and in His great love which always works towards my, and everyone else’s, ultimate good.
‘Though He slay me, I will trust Him’. Though He lets it ‘happen again’, I WILL TRUST HIM!